This Newf Reviews: Texas Taffy

Lately my baby brother and I have been so obnoxious, playing bitey-face in the house with all the accompanying noises, snarls, growls, whale songs, thumps, bangs and high-pitched shrieks, that my mama has taken to giving us each half of a Merrick Texas Taffy to keep us busy for a half-hour so she can get something done without worrying that we are tearing one another's face off.

Face Off? I try to tell her that I'm not John Travolta, and Pooka is definitely not Nicolas Cage, but she doesn't listen.

(Mama's Note: Look at how incredibly jaw-droppingly gorgeous Nanook is in this picture! Good LORD! You'd be buying him these treats in bulk too. Okay yes fine I buy them in bulk from waggintails.com. Look at those eyeballs - you would too!)

Anyway I don't try to convince her too hard, because Texas Taffy is freakin' delicious and I don't mind getting distracted by one. Just ask all my doggy friends at the Canadian Newf Specialty - I gave them out as presents to everyone. I am a generous spirit. Okay my mama forced me to share when I would have buried them all under the hotel room bedspread to save for later. *Sigh*

There may be a few of you dogs who haven't had the pleasure of meeting a Merrick Texas Taffy face to face. I'm very sorry - perhaps this post will help convince your parents you deserve to have one. Except for you Tad, I suspect these would make your tummy do unpleasant things. Sorry buddy.

THIS NEWF REVIEWS: MERRICK TEXAS TAFFY CHEWS (and assorted others)


We've tried a lot of the different Merrick treats, since they sell them at the same place that I buy my dog food at, and I can't walk past the displays without letting my nose do a little walkin' for me. And of course when my mama sees my nose a-walkin', she starts a-buyin'. (My mama RULES!)

Here is a list of the Merrick treats we've tried, in chronological order:

Mootubes
Wizzlers
Moozles
Texas Taffy
Jumbo Flossies
Texas Toothpicks
Puppy Nibbles

Company Standards: Merrick really does seem like a company that cares. Merrick guarantees their products 100%, and replaces or refunds any treat or food. They say they'll even take it back if the bag clashes with your rug at home. Hah! Now THAT'S serious stuff! We like to hear that all their treats are from American animals - lately we've been freaking out over how many of our treats say "made in china". Like all the delicious chicken jerky that we love that mama doesn't let us eat anymore because it is probably made out of chickens that had to be killed thanks to the Avian Flu. Not cool. What DOES Irradiated for Safety MEAN anyway, and why the devil would we eat anything that says that on the bag?! Back to Merrick - My family also likes that Merrick manufactures everything themselves, in their own facilities. That means no worrying that some total jerk on the factory floor is substituting cheaper ingredients than those specified by the company, like the companies involved in the recalls are accusing the manufacturers of - probably to cover their own arses. *gargling incoherently with rage* We wish SOMEONE would pony up and say "we were greedy, and it's our fault, and we're sorry, and we won't do it again." Instead of all this finger-pointing and whinging and scurrying around looking for someone else to blame. In the meantime, we are trusting Merrick for our treats, and for our wet food. We sincerely, sincerely hope we never have a reason to regret it.

Size and Portability: Depending on the treat in question, they range from very portable to slightly bulky. The Texas Taffy specifically is thin, and will slide into a back pocket - but because it is 12 inches long it will protrude by a good six inches and might fall out, to be snagged at first opportunity by your very attentive canine companion. They come wrapped in plastic, so they won't stain the pocket for the short period of time you might have them jammed in there - but you will need to remove the wrapper before giving it to your dog. We've found scissors or a pocket knife to be useful there, fingernails aren't going to get the job done.

Drool-o-Meter* Rating:

Not content just to rate the Texas Taffy for you, I will also rate the other Merrick treats we've tried. These ratings are subjective as they are my opinion only, and may not reflect the reaction your dogs may have to the treat. I am known around this house to have a very delicate palate. My favorite training treat (and the only one I will listen to in distracting environments) is fresh, fried chicken livers. Just so you have an idea of where I'm coming from here.

Texas Taffy, Wizzlers, Moo Tubes: Simultaneous Ropes to the Floor (I will commit petty larceny for these treats. Seriously.)
Jumbo Flossies: Two-Slinger (delightful, but not as meaty and fascinating as the three above)
Moozles, Texas Toothpicks: One Slinger (tasty enough, but ignored if any of the others are available)
Puppy Nibbles: Minicicles (they have a greasy feel and an odd, unpleasant smell. Even for us dogs.)


*Newfy Drool-o-Meter Key:

Dry Mouth: Zero interest or appreciation for the item in question - not worth drooling over.
Minicicles: Just the tiniest hint of a droolcicle starting at either corner of the mouth. Drool worthy? Barely.
One-Slinger: The treat is good - good enough to get the juices flowing but not so good that I would offer it as an aperitif on a first date with Sunshade.
Two-Slinger: Now we're talking! The drool is even, it's sling-able, and it has been earned.
Simultaneous-Ropes-to-the-Floor: The highest honor I, or any newf, can offer a treat or toy. So delicious and delightful that the drool flows like water.