This Newf Reviews: Ice on Ice

Hey there, readers! This Newf Reviews is returning to bring you a segment on a subject I'm sure all my readers are interested in - why I look so freaking fabulous all the time.

The answer is not straight-forward of course. Good looks are a combination of genetics, hygiene/grooming, product and nutrition - and I'll actually list a few of the things that I do to achieve my now-infamous look in a different post - but today's homage is specifically directed at Chris Christensen, and his delightful leave-in conditioner/sunscreen - Ice on Ice. The truth is, my behind is a trial and a tribulation. It has, ordinarily, the same consistency as a Brillo pad. It has eaten three pin brushes to date, and my mama is pretty sure that whole bronze-age cultures exist within the fur on my hind end, all busy building temples and sacrificing whatever crumbs Pooka dribbles onto me to appease the great god Comb and keep him from wreaking havoc on their villages.

I've tried a number of products to soften the fur there and make it more tractable - mink oil, infusium 23, Cowboy Magic in small amounts; but the cowboy magic attracted dirt and felt greasy, and while the mink oil and infusium 23 both worked - they didn't work as well as the ice on ice. And so, dear readers, I present to you:

THIS NEWF REVIEWS: CHRIS CHRISTENSEN'S ICE ON ICE

Company Standards: Chris Christensen is a supplier of products primarily for show dogs - but don't let that stop you from trying some of his stuff on your pet dog! We've heard nothing but good things about their products and the results gained from them. They also make brushes and color-depositing shampoos. My mama washes me with his White on White every other time I am bathed to get rid of the stains I get on my chest and paws from holding bully sticks and other treats, and drooling on myself constantly. Here is a picture of me after being white-on-whited:


Size and Portability: Generally the stuff comes in a 16 oz bottle - there are two varieties - Ready To Use or Concentrate. We got the Concentrate - it's a 15 to 1 ratio for dilution with water so it's a good deal for the money - the least expensive we have found it is on Amazon for $35.95. If you'd rather not spend so much to try it out, you can buy a 16 oz bottle of the Ready to Use pretty much anywhere online for $10.00.

Newfy Drool-o-Meter Rating: Well it's not a treat or a toy so it doesn't get OUR glands going - but if you want to know how much the girls drool when they see me well...let's just say it's a LOT. I'm at least a Two-Slinger.

*Newfy Drool-o-Meter Key:

Dry Mouth: Zero interest or appreciation for the item in question - not worth drooling over.
Minicicles: Just the tiniest hint of a droolcicle starting at either corner of the mouth. Drool worthy? Barely.
One-Slinger: The treat is good - good enough to get the juices flowing but not so good that I would offer it as an aperitif on a first date with Sunshade.
Two-Slinger: Now we're talking! The drool is even, it's sling-able, and it has been earned.
Simultaneous-Ropes-to-the-Floor: The highest honor I, or any newf, can offer a treat or toy. So delicious and delightful that the drool flows like water.

BONUS! Humorous video of Newf and Baby...