I RULE! (AND DROOL!)

Zzzzzzzz...

So. Sleepy. Christmas really takes it out of a dog, you know? Here are some Christmas pictures of us Newfs enjoying the festivities. There was a lot of food. Nanook managed to convince people to give him quite a bit of it, and now he's got big owwies on his face because he must have been allergic to some of it and The Mama is seriously annoyed at everyone including him.

I'm not allergic to ANYTHING and I can eat whatever I want. *smug*

Anyway here are the pictures:

The Mama says this one is how she knows the food came out just right. Drool!

Hah! That's me scamming some pate out of Uncle Sean...


Uncle Sean, I think I can manage maybe just a little more of that...

Here we are being Good Dogs and lying down like we're supposed to.
With our new Christmas Present Tuffie Toys! I got the Terrordactyl.
Nanook's is called CaptainKirklops. Hah!


Can you spot the newf in this picture? I'll give you a hint.
The pate was next to Uncle Sean the whole meal. So was I.


Pate!

Mmmmmm....Christmas....

DUDE!

Randi came to visit! And she came all dressed up in the howliday spirit and she totally climbed up onto Pooka's lap and sang "Baby It's Cold Outside" and then Pooka drooled so much that he ruined her outfit.

Okay not really. But she DID send us a card of her all dolled up and seriously you guys, check this out.

Aaaaaroooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So You Think You Want a Newf, Huh?

View this video first.

You see that? That's a stainless steel HORSE BUCKET. Lemme just repeat that one for you. HORSE BUCKET. I have to keep it out in our solarium because the dogs make such a mess drinking that if I had it in the house proper we'd need rafts to get from the kitchen to the living room.

The instant he finishes drinking he does one of two things: he either immediately goes to a rug and starts rubbing his face dry on it, or he shakes his head violently, sending water and drool flying through the air to liberally coat EVERYTHING in a 20' circular vicinity.

And then he comes and puts his face in my lap. There is nothing as affectionate as a Newf who is wet.

These dogs are messy about just about everything. Eating, drinking, playing...be warned! They're wonderful, but definitely not for everyone!

This Newf Reviews: Leashes!

You see this? This is how I let my humans know that it is time to take me for a walkies. And if they don't jump to it right sharpish, then those boots? Done for! Perforated by Pooka - a new(f) line of fashion footwear!

And when they take me for a walkies, they pick up my collar from its resting spot on top of my crate, and I come RUNNING from wherever I was getting into trouble to have it put on me, although usually it takes a couple of minutes because I get so excited that I can't stop wiggle-butting around. Finally they get me to sit, and put my collar on. Then they pick up my leash!

I've tried a LOT of leashes, y'all. From Douglas Paquette, (which we like because it's got the snap handle), to 6" long leather show leads, to flat nylon ones we picked up at PetSmart, to one with reflective tape and a small LED light for night walkies...well you get the picture. I chewed through one of the Douglas Paquette ones. The leather show lead is a little short for just going for walkies, and the long leather lead we have is sort of inflexible. The flat nylon one cut the Mama's palm really badly once when a squirrel happened to us on a walkies. The light on the reflective one broke in the first week.

So the humans are always on the look-out for the perfect leash, and now I think they've found it! And so, without further ado I am thrilled to present you all with my, Pooka's, very first installment of:

THIS NEWF REVIEWS: Timberwolf Pet Products' Alpine Urban Lead

Why we like it: Soft delightful rubber handle so that even the most obnoxious puller doesn't hurt your soft human palms. Sturdy 64 carrier double-braided nylon rope construction - the highest carrier count available on the market! Solid brass hardware. And the "urban" version of the Alpine lead also comes with a second handle, located just above the collar snap, for close-quarters control.

Also included is a key-fob ring for your spare key, in case you're in the habit of locking yourself out of your home in the early morning hours when taking your pup for a walk. We don't use that for the approved use, instead we use the ring to hang the leash on a hook when it is not going on walkies. (Of course in my opinion we should ALWAYS be going for walkies - but you know sometimes a newf's gotta sleep and eat...)

Note that if you wish to purchase this leash with the second close-quarters handle, you must specify "The Alpine URBAN Lead" when ordering.

Company Standards: Founded in 1996, dedicated to delivering quality, innovative pet products. Interestingly they encourage folks to contact their reps or factory with suggestions or needs - they say they never charge for custom work!

Drool-o-Meter Rating*: It's not a food item, so Nanook isn't even interested in it. But I, who am a Newf on the Move, give them a One Slinger because I love my walkies so very much!



*Newfy Drool-o-Meter Key:

Dry Mouth: Zero interest or appreciation for the item in question - not worth drooling over.
Minicicles: Just the tiniest hint of a droolcicle starting at either corner of the mouth. Drool worthy? Barely.
One-Slinger: The treat is good - good enough to get the juices flowing but not so good that I would offer it as an aperitif on a first date with Sunshade.
Two-Slinger: Now we're talking! The drool is even, it's sling-able, and it has been earned.
Simultaneous-Ropes-to-the-Floor: The highest honor I, or any newf, can offer a treat or toy. So delicious and delightful that the drool flows like water.

A Newf Lexicon - Part II

You all may remember the enormously popular first edition of the Newf Lexicon which we produced in September.  

Well...we're back baby!  With a brand new edition!  Prepare to  be enlightened.

Brillo Butt: BRILL low BUTT  descriptive noun

Used to describe the coarse, brush-devouring consistency of the fur on a Newfoundland Dog's hindquarters.  Whole civilizations have disappeared into it, never to be seen or heard from again.  When an owner wishes to groom this area, he or she must first dress in full chain mail battle armor.  And it's a good idea to keep a bottle of leave-in conditioner and a back-up comb handy, just in case.

"Oh dear.  Nanook's got a terrible case of Brillo Butt, hasn't he?"

Bunk/Bunks/Bunking:  BUHNK king  verb

The variety of Newf greeting in which a Newf's nose is used to forcibly impact the greetee - usually in the genital region.  Pooka, in particular, is infamous for this.  Evidently so are the Newfs Maddie and Bogie.  

"We taught Pooka to go get a stuffed toy when someone comes to the door, so that when he bunks someone, at least it's a soft hit..."*

Counter Surfing: COWN-ter SERF-ing  verb

The olympic sport that involves standing on one's hind legs to effectively clear the counters, typically those in the kitchen, of any and all goodies. The reward for said activity is to snarfleall goodies found. This has also forced the humans to keep all counters clear of any "interesting" items.

"Khabo must have been counter surfing today as all the mail was knocked on the floor!"

Floof:  FLOOF  noun

Usually the airy, wispy fur located directly on top of the Newf's cranium - but also used as a general term for all Newf fur.  

"When we go to Cosmopawlitan, the owner Marie can't stop styling Nanook's floof!"

Floofanewf:  FLOOF ah newf  noun

Any Newf lucky enough to possess an extraordinary amount of Floof.  Nanook is a good example of this, so is a charming brown female Newf named Sawyer.  

"He's such a floofanewf."

Muppet Paws:  MUHpet PAWZ noun

Used to describe a Newf's feet when those feet have not been trimmed in some time, and the fur between the toes has grown very long and ridiculous-looking.   

"Nanook, it's time to get the scissors.  Look at those muppet paws!"

Muzzie: MUHzee noun

A word denoting the portion of a Newf's anatomy beginning just below the eyes and extending to the tip of the nose.  Includes lips, nose and chin.  Is often soaking wet and/or slimy from one thing or another.  

"Pooka hates to have his muzzie wet - he's always trying to dry it on my lap."

Snarfle: SNAR full  verb

The act of old lady Newf, specifically the Newf Gidget, eating food with such gusto it is as if she has never been fed. Followed by same Newf searching the surrounding floor areas for the rest of the food she thinks she is missing, a huffy sigh, a flop to the ground...and then....some gas.

"Gidget just snarfled her dinner."

Snozzle:  SNOZ zul noun

The very soft furry spot just between the nose and the mouth on a Newf.  

"Bojie's mumma likes to snorgle him on his snozzle."

*True story.  Our male guests are very grateful for this bit of training...

Holiday Spirits

We're getting into them!

Peace on Earth...

Dear Santa Claws:

Pooka and I have been very, VERY good dogs this year, and we hope you have taken notes on this and are prepared to remunerate us accordingly. However, on the off-chance that you may have missed some of our more sterling deeds, here is a recap.

Nanook:

*continued his significant work in outreach Faith Ministries.
*translated newf into human - thus promoting understanding and harmony.
*produced a truly incredible amount of nesting material for poor, homeless birds.
*announced new and devious ways of getting onto forbidden furniture - clearly a public service.
*has kept the world abreast of his weight loss and diet, so that other chubby dogs the world over would not feel alone or ashamed.
*stimulated the economy!
*proved that dogs can, in fact, roll their eyes - an amazing scientific breakthrough!
*delivered a PSA on giving.
*Therapy Dog.
*has put up with Pooka. Enough said.

Pooka:

*created a number of art pieces. Had anyone showed up to view them, he would have totally donated all proceeds to a charity. Honest.
*created and filmed a PSA on the importance of canine oral hygiene.
*guarded the house, the cats, and his people from midnight raiders.
*walked around being so gorgeous that people gave us free stuff.
*was a really good host.
*helped the mama bring in the mail, ALL THE TIME.
*discovered proof of extraterrestrials!
*made great personal sacrifices for the sake of the sheep.

Right. Obviously you must now be impressed by what charming and well-behaved young men we are. We hope that puts you in the right frame of mind to pack up your sleigh, because we've got our list of demands...we mean requests...all ready.

For Christmas Nanook would really like:
Food.
No for real. Lots and lots of it. Cookies and cakes and whipped cream and marrow bones and raw beef and delicious jerkified venison and...(Mama's Note: Nanook got a little over-excited and had to go sit down and put his head between his knees.)

For Christmas Pooka would really like:
Toys that make ridiculous noises
For every day to be 20 degrees Fahrenheit or less, year-round
For bully sticks to rain from the sky
A moratorium on all brushing and nail-trimming
Snow up to his eyeballs
A little human girl child of his very own (Mama's Note: calm down MorMor, that wasn't an announcement of a breeding program, that was just a wish from one big black dog who loves little girls.)
Kisses
Lots and lots of walkies
For our distant cousin Johnny to find his way home at last


Alright Santa? We've given you ten days to get your stuff together which we think is plenty generous. Merry Christmas, Happy Howlidays, and pretty please bring us our presents.

Lotsa Licks,

Nanook and Pooka

Newf in Rescue - Needs Home

This gentleman is two years old and currently intact, although he'll be neutered by Newf Friends Rescue before he's released to a new home. He's been shuffled around a bit but by all accounts he's friendly and good with other dogs.

He's also got this going for him - the ability to make RIDICULOUS faces.

Isn't he handsome???

Playing with new friends...

Aaaaand a close-up of the last shot (which we cannot stop laughing over...)



bwahahahahahaha! He's AWESOME!

Seriously though, anyone who is interested in this handsome young man, please contact Newf Friends Rescue and be aware that as a breed rescue they will have pretty stringent requirements for his new home.

You can email Newf Friends at
newf.friends@gmail.com
or reach them by snail mail at
PO Box 1139
Bancroft, ON
K0L 1C0
Canada

You can tell them it's in reference to the 2 year old male landseer currently living in foster care with Angie.

Once Again Now...

Well. All of you who expressed horror at the notion of how short-lived his installation was will be thrilled to hear that he was undeterred by the backfilling. In fact, I think it is safe to say he was inspired by it.

He has created a second installment in this series; and he integrated the shovel I used to backfill his original work into this second piece. He's definitely making a statement.

I felt mere still photography was not enough to capture the essence of the work, and so I got a video of it. The Bear Cat came to view the piece, and like most new artists Pooka got a LITTLE overexcited by the attention to his installation, and scared him off. We'll probably have a champagne reception this afternoon, followed by a backfilling since it seems to really get Pooka's creative juices flowing.






Incidentally, he went for a walk at 5:30 this morning, so there's really no excuse for this sort of thing apart from pure heaven-sent inspiration

Express Yourself

I would like to share with you all a little art installation we've got here at the house.

I think it rates right up there with "The Gates" or "Umbrellas" by Christo and Jeanne-Claude, but then I'm biased. The artist himself is young and untested, but his strength lies in his vigor and unconcern with public opinion. He creates purely out of joy for the process. His creations, therefore, are uninhibited and full of raw passion. Who's Who in Art has called him "an artist to watch."

He has entitled this piece: "Never Put Off Taking Your Newf For a Walk, Not Even if You've Got To Put Away the Laundry, and Whatever You Do Don't Leave Them Outside While You Clean...Or Else." The original working title was "Holes" but he felt that was too derivative. I would be lying if I said I didn't think it was freaking magnificent.

The muse takes a lot out of him.

The installation will be receiving visitors until 12 noon today, at which point it will be backfilled.

Photo Post - Connecticut Newf Get Together!

Seriously delayed. Sorry y'all.



Pooka and I in the car in the driveway, getting ready to leave for the get together. It was like, 6 a.m. Neither of us were particularly impressed by the hour. We like to sleep until 8 or 9, usually.



We arrived! Hurrah!



That landseer there is Brody. He's famous on newf.net for being a very naughty monkey doodle indeed when he was a puppy. He's gotten much better though.



Bet you know who that is! Bojie!



Pooka and I made lots of new friends...



And since I'd told Bojie all about the mor mor, he got VERY cozy with her, just in case. Naturally, I was already there.



Brody at the refreshment station.



Speaking of Brody and Bojie, the two of them became very best buddies at the get together...and spent a lot of time wrestling. I was not jealous. *cough*



















See? Not jealous at all.





Pooka's happy face



And EXTENSION! The Mama says Pooka would make a great dressage horse.



This is Merlin, below. He's also famous on newf.net for being a monkey doodle. He had a GREAT time.





Meanwhile, I was deeply concerned by this little dog's sweater.



This is Akira



Gidget





Pooka and one of his many girlfriends



Me



Bojie



Baby Newfie! His name is Buckley.













This is Montana



Roger, (Merlin's long suffering older brother - I hear ya, Roger!)



And THEN!!! There was cake! Including a Blote Kake!





And guess who was on hand to make sure that the newfs got some blote kake? The MorMor. I wonder if we have any pictures of her totally sneaking the newfs cake?



Hah!

Of course the MorMor's presence meant that our favorite Uncle Cameron was there too...





Bojie and his Mama



Group shot!











Baby Buckley again...(the mama was obsessed!)











Us and the Mama



Peeps



There's Merlin and Roger again



And finally - you know Bojie and I couldn't leave without chewing on one another's faces





And then...I did this.





Good Times.